Saturday, August 28, 2004

Zen Trivia

Getting back to the inquestionably important topic of Pachinko, we read something interesting yesterday that might warrant two or three bytes of data out there in the ether. Did you know that the Pachinko industry here in Japan generates several more billion yen a year than the entire domestic auto industry. Woah.

Pointless trivia rocks.

Ryryry

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Beyond the Jagged Horizon

I'm sure that I've heard someone say that you havn't drunk of a city's true essence without having tasted the salty tang of life in those vast expanses of space around city epicentres; the honourable burb, outskirt or banlieu. Those places where the stuff of material dreams is planted and nurtured, where the toil of lives is spent and the respite of sleep is granted.

This place, Nigata, sits in the sweaty armpit of Osaka's long reach. Here highways hang all around; suspended canopies shielding the faceless residential blocks from the unrelenting heat. In all its unfamiliar ugliness this place is more barb than burb.

I wonder what Jeffrey Smart would have thought...He could have spent a lifetime here painting the myriad of lonely fringe dwellers arched over balconies, hanging towels or just sitting watching the throb of the city beyond the jagged horizon.

Now, in the early afternoon, this place is quiet, almost like a ghost town. It's inhabitants shuttled away temporarily by the trains that roll constantly below your feet. But as the sun sets on this place, they will return and the ghost town will come alive with the sounds of snorts, sighs and the single-minded slurp of the salaryman at the table.

As I descend into the underworld of chimes and voiceovers to await the train to swift me away I wonder why this banality strikes such a chord within. I guess there is poetry to be found in every horrid backwater.

Zen Punkster - Coloured Shower Collector - Big money Talker

Be this life - Dreaming Juice and Sunflower Peace

Disclose the Icecream - Beer is not free

Rock Japan Fest - I survived Hotel Suxxus

Hmmmmmm. Interesting place this...

Signing Off - Ryryry

Friday, August 20, 2004

Yay!! A taste of success

Just got a call from an english school based in osaka that provides english language trainers to elementary schools. I got the job!! Woo hoo! Part time, 4 days a week, teaching kids from 2 to 10 years old....I can't believe I have finally got work! They pay well also, so I hope this is the start of prosperity in Japan.

Ryan is shortlisted for a number of roles...he is just having final round interviews and trying to sort out what he wants to do, but we will both be working by the first week of September! I have to say it is a real relief, but I will feel even better once the contract is signed.

Can I just say the chicks here are soooo hot and dolled up to the max - they really are immaculate to the point of being airbrushed. And they can't walk on their high heels, because they roll out on their feet so they make this cute little clomping noise when they walk, and their heels are all worn down on one side...very sweet and silly.

In the big city

Kimba says:
Can it be possible? We worked our white asses off for a year and now the money that we tucked away is flowing like water into the drain of the Japanese economy?! We are like white ghosts, plundering the discount trolley at the supermarket every night at 9pm. We're not alone though, you should see the tussle for the half price sushi, Katsu and tempura every night...at least you can buy an alcoholic beverage for a buck twenty - that sees us through the hots nights in our tatami room.

We have been spending a bit of time in Osaka. Each time we go it's an expensive day, but we are preparing to move there, so each time we visit it's a productive day. Yesterday I had a few hours between appointments, so I went for a bit of a wander. Just trying to get outside once you are underground in Osaka is a real feat. The underground mall there is the largest in the world. A vast warren of discount shops, donburi stalls and identical entrances to Diamaru. When I finally reached the surface I was inside a huge covered mall, that stretched as far as the eye could see, punctutated with busy roads, but otherwise a seemingly infinite stretch of pachinko parlours and okonomiyaki joints. The mall was 6 or 7 stories high and signs that flashed from each building described the untold pleasures lying upstairs; hostess bars, shot bars, magazine rooms.

The strange thing was that all these parlours were full...each one was stacked to the rafters with smoking, gibbering goons hoping to win the paCHING!ko jackpot. I noticed this profound sense of isolation spreading through my flesh...and I became aware of this feeling...that I was this tiny morsel of fallible flesh completely dwarfed by a street of neon promises. I remedied this troubling feeling by stopping into a stand-up soba bar. A steaming bowl of soba and dashi for just 200yen. (about 3 bucks.) Topped off with an alcoholic soda I felt my resolve returning, slurping and gobbling, an elbows length from a Japanese truckie.

It was a steaming day, so I did what all clever Japanese do when they are at a loose end and it's steamy outside - I headed to the convenience store to read the magazines and comics in cool air-con comfort. The manga comics here are astounding. They can be as thick as phonebooks almost and are surprisingly cheap. They have amazing hentai (porn) comics that have penthouse type spreads and comics that are pretty explicit. The funny thing is they can't actually draw the cock, so they leave this ethereal white space in the exact shape and size of a cock, so all these huge breasted girls are getting rogered by phantom penises. I bought one and am currently writing english captions in all the speech bubbles. Ryan gets to read one story a night...I will be sending them home to one lucky reader once he has finished, so let me know if you are interested!

Work is a bit of an albatross. I picked up some proof reading and editing work for a public relations company. My first job was to fix this annual report for a massive pharmeceutical company Nipro. The report was just full of errors - of grammar, expression, spelling....When I took it back to the office the girl nearly fell over. Apparently they only had 2 days to fix the errors, so I dropped a bit of a bombshell. She loved it though....this is a company who wants to gain massive investment from the West, but refuses to fix their slogan, which is 'Our goal is for wholesome life.'

The money is excellent,but the only problem is they pay two months from the invoice date - which means I will get my first paycheck in October. Until then...well such is the lot of a freelancer! I picked up another dyas work teaching chakra and colour therapy at a beauty school. They can give me a days work each month. Unfortunately they already have someone who is teaching thai massage basics, but I am going to start looking around for a place to do my massage. I fear I am getting rusty after almost 3 weeks without giving a massage. Ryan has kindly offered up his bod, which is lovely!

English teaching - the jobs we are getting offered are so far out of town that we couldn't move to Osaka and do them. the job that Ryan was pinning hopes on in Kobe has turned out to be a lot less hours and money than he hoped for. He is on his way back from Kobe as we speak...I think he will take it though...We have got a few hours work tomorrow doing promotions work for this partty company that organises parties for foreigners. Normally you have to pay 3000 yen and you get food and drink - well we get paid 2500 yen and get to meet people and eat and drink. cool!!

Gigs are happening slowly - we are practising like freaks. had our first gig at this little tiny bar called le depart. It was dead quiet but we played sooo well and then a bunch of local players came and jammed, including this larry correll disciple that played the weirdest, fastest guitar I have heard in ages. We have made an awesome contact - a bass player called Kaz. We met him at a business english interview - haven't got work from them, but he is taking us to jazz club and doing a lot of fast talking with our demo. He has also asked us to sit in with some of the top jazz singers around Osaka and Kobe. Very exciting. Hopefully after some auditions and sit in's we will get a gig.

I leave you with some images and feelings...

the yippee dog grooming parlour, where your pooch can be washed, blow-dried and pampered. There is even a dog hotel there where it costs more to leave your dog than to rent them a room at our guest house! Riding home at 1am after an amazing soak at the bath house....it's a balmy night and so still, I am almost touching silence...as I ride a waft of delicate incense envelops me, it has unfurled from a neighbourhood temple, whose lanterns burn dimly through the sleepy evening...the kindness of strangers...music practice down by the river...keeping up ech other's spirits after another long day on the hunt...

Friday, August 13, 2004

Pachinko, Porn and Puny Parcels in the Land of Pot Luck

Now I know that almost everything has already been written about Japan. From apocalypse to anthropomorphics, cybernetics to super-economies of scale. From longevity to love hotels and every tid bit of cultural trivia has already been written....hang on there is one new thing...no one told me that men in blue boiler suits wave strange wands around measuring radioactivity or air density or excitement levels...and nobody told me that when sitting in the sauna at a sento you should fold your arms across your body and shiver like you in an igloo. Nobody told me that stuff! And although it has been well documented, even by my philosophical phallus-a-phile partner in grime Kimba, that some Nihonno blokes have puny pork parcels, nobody told me that they could be so puny that they don't even peek out from the pubic-flora. Woah. Nobody told me that!

And another thing for all you bargain hunters. If you go to the suupermarket at about 8 o'clock at night, you can grab some serious discounts on sushi, fried yummy stuff and fishy bits. No discount on melons - they fetch a pretty penny at a minimum of 10 bucks a watermelon. Sometimes a particularly juicy one can fetch up to 100 bucks. Woah. Though I have to admit someone did tell me about that.

We went to a club last night. Metro. Hip joint. Still pooey though. Not used to hanging out in clubs when I'm not playing. Also not used to paying for drinks. Perhaps I am now paying for my indulgences in Melbourne. Either way, we shmoozed the promoter and gave him our CDs and told him that we were finalists in Australian Idol and he better give us a gig or else we'd get Marcia onto him! He didn't understand any of it so we just smiled and nodded a lot. Language is a big one here slowly slowly, we'll get there.

So I dunno why I called it Pachinko, Porn and Puny Parcels cos I ain't got nothing to say about pachinko or porn except they are both very close to my heart. But as for pot luck I hope we can come across some this week as we hunt for some lucrative shigoto (work) and stuff.

Until the next post...

Bi-wheeled humanoids checking out the scene..

Ok, I want you to picture this - a huge department store that is filled with all things electronic. A whole floor of mini discs and CD's and TV's and electronic toilets that wipe your arse for you and watches, cameras, computers...Were talking like 6 ot 7 floors of it...and then, amid all this flashing and beeping chaos, among the flourescant halos of the army of floor staff, picture an oasis...not a palm tree and coconut juice oasis, I mean an oasis in keeping with the electronoidical orgasm of consumer delight.

A sea of lounge chairs, different shapes and sizes. Some are upright, some are tilted so far back as to be horizontal. Row upon row, maybe 6 rows deep and ten wide, all of plush chair action. An every single chair has a Japanese person lounging, reclining, resting in it. Some of the chairs are shaking and vibrating, the leg rests clamping around the slender bow legs of the person resting on it, compressing and releasing in a complex pattern of vibration. Other people are being pummeled by the chair, their backs arching as they struggle to feel the therapeutic benefit of having a machine wrench your tired muscles with synchronised movements. Yes, we have arrived in Massage Chair heaven!

The chairs are apparently for sale. With names like Dodo-Mum G4000 and Cyber-Rest (with aquaplunge!), you can choose from a staggering array of different models. Dotted around the perimeter of the chairs were a dozen different models of foot massager. People were lining up, waiting paitently to leap onto an apparatus the minute a person, now suitably refreshed and doey-eyed would finally float off the chair and back into the shiny electgronic horizon. no one was actually going to buy these chairs! But there was no sense of shame, the way we Australians feel when we sit on the leather sofa at Harvey Norman for just a little too long. No clucking and tutting salesperson giving you the eye to buy. Just row upon row of blissed out face. I stayed in my chair, watching out of the corner of my eye, waiting for the person next to me to give up their plush, vibrating model with inbuilt muzak.

This was some insight into why I wanted to come here, to see stuff like that! We have searched in vain for the panty vending machine and have decided that it is a myth. Just like it's a myth that the japanese are small and have got umm...tiny wangers. Reliable reports from the men's bath house is that there are todgers of all shapes and sizes and more than a sprinkling of strapping lads. We did buy a beer from a vending machine, though it was a little watery.

We have been doing night time bike missions into different areas. It's Obon festival, so everyone is very jolly and there are fireworks a plenty, as well as groups of people walking the streets, beating drums and carrying lanterns. Apparently at Obon ancestors return to their houses. I haven't figured out whether people are keen on this or not. All the drumming and chanting seems to conjure up the vibe of an exorcism, but the festival has a celebratory aspect as well.

Can I just say that there are a lot of incredibly boring people teaching english here. We met some at this club last night - ryan will fill you all in on it, but there were lots of gaijin looking really glum and just giving off a total lack of positive energy or vibe. Apparently this happens to people when they stay in Japan too long, but these guys had been here for like 3 years...maybe we were hoping to meet some other wide-eyed puppy dogs to play with, but it seems we will have to keep sniffing.

On the way to the club we heard this saxophone floating out over the river, so I rode down and gave the guy my card, told him I'd like to jam-u....damn, if only we had a babel fish and could actually have some meaningful exchange...ryan is rocking on the jap and I am sort of clawing my way up the hill.

Stay tuned for more, it's gonna be a big weekend.

Kimba xxx

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Two feet on the ground in Kyoto

It's unbelievable...we made it and we have landed ourselves in an absolutely beautiful place. We have been here for 4 nights already, but it feels like it's been weeks or months...I guess we have led a pretty frenetic pace since arriving, soaking in the milieu of the place and trying to sort out some opportunities.

Ok, let me take a deep breath as I gaze out of the window of the library and look over the mountains that ring Kyoto - the base of which couldn't be more than a few kilometres away...We touched down early on Friday morning, pretty groggy and dazed. The bus from Kansai to Kyoto led us along the waterfront, which was just a mass of crazy factories, smoke stacks and cranes. The only thing that seperated it from any other industrial wasteland was passing the Asahi factory!

We spent the first night in a chi-chi Ryokan, or traditional Japanese Inn - hell we had earned it. They don't let you check in until the afternoon, so we dumped our bags and went for a bit of a wander. There was a lot of bowing going on when we arrived, so we just followed suit. Bowing is sort of a multi-purpose gesture here, whenever you want to be polite or you don't understand something or you get in someone's way or you want to be cute, then you just bow and ride the wave.

The first day...clean streets and bicylces everywhere. The mountains ringing the city all around...a pachinko parlour, which is like a poker machine crossed with a pin-ball machine, but there are dozens of machines, all identical and the noise is a caccophony of plastic sounds...a food market where everything was displayed with fine eye for symmetry...whole shops selling seaweed, tiny desserts, fish...that's a crazy thing, the cuts of fish and meat here, even in the supermarket are so...perfect! Symmetrical, delicate and bloody expensive! Each piece of fruit is unblemished, carefully washed and arranged and priced accordingly. Meat is priced by the 100gm and fruit by the piece. Somehow it makes sense. You buy a little each day and then consume it, so it's always fresh and you are never taking up too much space.

One of the first things that struck us was the difference between the middle aged salaryman type figure that people often associate with Japan and the reality of a much younger population, who stream along the streets looking impossibly cool, groomed, unique and gorgeous. I am not sure if its just Kyoto, but there seems to be dirth of hot young things, none wearing suits. My guess is they are the student population, stretching their creative legs before leaping into corporation land.

Row upon row of photo booths, schoolgirl's bowed legs peeping out the bottom and the air rife with giggles...it's unusual this as we have founbd Kyoto to be very quiet. People eating quietly, focused on the food, the streets hum only with sounds of vehicles and the odd child's shriek...I guess we need to go and find the beer hall!

In the afternoon, we checked in to our beautiful, spare room, with its tatami mats and low table and went off to find the sento, or bath house. ahhhhhhhh the bath house, one of my enduring passions, one that i will be indulging daily while I am here. I am going to write a whole article about public bathing, which i will post on here later, but just to give you a taste.

Undressing and leaving my things in an old wicker basket by an ancient hairdryer, the kind where you sit in a lounge chair and it goes right over your head! Old ladies stare at me, flesh hanging off tiny frames - they must be astounded by my sturdy european frame...inside they crouch on the floor, scrubbing, sopaing foaming. Each woman has a unique ritual, a complex set of actions that they have created over decades. Some scrub their face in a repetitive pattern for long minutes, others move from one bath to the next throwing cold water on their breasts, hot water on their back. I realise that we really don't see bathing as a ritual in the west, it's a neccessity, a chance to refresh with a soak or a shower. Here the ladies chatter as they recline in the baths or move from tap to tap.

There are 5 baths. One long, extremely hot one. A smaller, hotter bubbling bath. A green spa that smells herbal. A small tub with cool water. An electric bath! Yes, i kid you not, these guys have elextric baths. Climbing into the herbal spa I accidentally slipped my hand into the adajcent tub and felt a weird current. Pulling my hand back, I was worried there was some weird circuit malfunction. I dipped a finger in again and felt a tingle all the way to my funnybone. WHAT THE? Then I remembered reading somewhere about these electric baths they have in Japan. I was way too freaked out by this toactually climb in and test it out.

Our meal that night was served in our room. It was divine. A myriad of tiny dishes, all holding some delicate vegetable or fish dish, presented with flair, but never arrogance and tasting uniquely wonderful. Though it looked like a light meal, when it was over we were perfectly full. We had a maid in a gorgeous Kimono who served our meal, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper to deliver some english phrases - 'i return at once when you finish.' 'Please, you will enjoy this meal I hope.' Ryan's japanese was already flowing again and i was struggling to remember the basics.

After dinner our wonderful maid returned to prepare out futons for the night. everything in the room was stored behind sliding door and she whipped open a cupboard we thought had been a wall and had our futons prepared in no time at all. She left two tiny paper cranes on our pillows and slipped out the door.

The next day we were greeted with a traditional Japanese breakfast, again in our room. It was another incredible meal, simple but filling and beautifully served. Some morning maids helped us cart our many bags downstairs, groanbing under the weight. While waiting for the cab to take us to our new, modest home we were presented with some small gifts at reception. We reciprocated and gave them a tiny jar of vegemite. (Pity their tastebuds as we didn't know the word for butter, which as we all know is a pre-requisite when eating vegemite!) They then gave us more gifts, really it was a gift giving frenzy!

OUR NEW HOME

Yamamoto san is having a mid life crisis. We can tell; it's like an aura that seaps off him along with the sweat that pours off us all at this time of year in Kyoto. He wears a towel across his forehead and sports an incredibly sparse mo that resembles the look of the Okinawan islands from an airplane window. Yamamoto is the land-lord of a run down but smashingly cheap guesthouse for the gaijin (foreigner) and shorttime Japanese budget traveller. Yurakuso - I think it means 'large box with smaller boxes inside'. Maybe. Anyway, that's the general vibe. But inside our little box it's actually pretty cosy. It's an 8 mat room which is a bit bigger that your standard five mat-er which is about 2 x 2. It's got a ye olde Japo feel to it with BIR, OSP, Rev A/C and a grimy kitchen to boot. yeah yeah. It is a concept space. Ko-n-se-po-to su-pa-i-su. It all reveloves around the idea of multi-purpose space and efficient storage. When you sleep you don't eat and when you finish sleeping you roll up the futons, stack 'em in the wall and set up the table. You know it's a lot like sleeping on a friend's floor every night of the week.

The first night Kimba was jolly as a bonsai on blood and bone. She was setting up our new home, with the Md plugged into her mimis (mimi is ear in Jap) singing her arpeggios and lovin' it. I was in the kitchen churning up our first home cooked meal in Nippon. You know she really wasn't that loud and besides, it's music. How can anyone dislike music? Well Yamamoto san gave me a few reasons that's for sure. First he berated me for leaving the bin a few cm off his ideal bin axis then he said that we musn't make loud as he has terrible heamarroids that flair up when he starts tapping his toes then he told me that if we don't like his rules then we must gooooo awaaaayy! ouch! Well I thought we were up shit creek so I just bowed like crazy and said sumimasen about a million times. Then I gave him the G-Grin (you know the one). And then it happened. It began like a slight tremor in the far reaches of the archipellago of his mo and then it spread like a tsunami across his dial. He was smiling. Yamamoto san was smiling. So the battle was won but the war...later that night.... whilst consumating our new found futons I'm sure I heard what I thought were the sound of toes tapping and then a quickening step and the slamming of the toliet door. Poor old Yamamoto.

Thanks Ry - what a funny chap he is!

So we have paid for a month there and are making ourselves at home. Cooking a lot of meals, playing guitar and singing (down at the river, certainly not in our room, lest we feel the wrath of 'moto) and riding our bicycles, which we have hired for the month. We rode all the way into town via the river path - it only took 20 mins - we rode all the way back via the road(s) and it took 40 - but riding bikes is the best way to get around. That's another thing, there is hardly any beeping here from cars. People drive in a cruisey fashion (other than the yakuza boys on their chopper harleys) and are very happy to wait for a slower driver or mob of cyclists passing through..

We have a job interview today for the American Club English School, which is directly on our subway line, only 5 stops away. Hopefully we can both get jobs there for the minute - Ryan has a job interview in a couple of weeks for a music school position in Osaka. Commuting should be easy as it's only 29 mins by rapid train. We also have another interview tomorrow in Osaka, for business english..good pay...wish us well.

Finally, I am sure you are all sick of this long blog, but we have our first gig on the 18th! Yep, it's only a door deal at a little jazz bar called Le Depart. We went in to drop off a demo ( We have dropped off about 5 so far) and they got us up to have a play, then booked us in. We will be doing a set, it's kind of an open mic, but hopefully a real gig will come from it..

Stay tuned in the next few days for more tales of Kyoto, including our sightings of maiko (apprentice geisha), drinking beer from vending machines and the bit where Ryan wears down Yamamoto with a couple of well picked jazz CD's from our vast collection!

Love Kimba and Ryan
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